07 November 2009

telling the world

I so badly want to tell my close friends that I’m bi…but I’m not sure why. I don’t know what I’m planning on getting out of it. It’s like having a piece of info that you want to tell everyone… like juicy gossip. I’m afraid of what my friends might  say, but at the same time I could stand to lose them either way. Like I said in another blog, I don’t understand the concept of coming out. My secret tingles my mouth.

Sometimes I fear being straight… or gay. I don’t make sense.  I think guys are hott! Then I think about how much I enjoy chicks and they’re hott too! So I return to being content as bi. I need to go to a gay club and flirt I think. Actually just flirt in general. I’m with a girl right now but I feel like I need some constant reminder that I’m wanted, desired and well… that I’m not hideous. I wonder what that has to deal with. I feel like a little kid finding out about sexuality all over again.

On "Tru Life: I’m out" they said that an unspoken rule in the gay community is “if you’ve been out for a while, don’t date a recently out of the closet guy bc its like dating a 12 year old.” Guess this is what they meant.

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