03 December 2009

lost.in.the.party.shuffle

Am I polyamorous or am I promiscuous? I've been really confused lately.

I'm sure of one thing... I don't know what I want. I love my girlfriend and I love fucking her. I also like other people and I'm sure I would love fucking them. I don't know if I'm craving to love other people or to "love" (boom chick wah wah) other people.

There are two guys at my work that are really cute. One of them is straight... so he's off limits. (I found out his name is Sean and I had an orgasm. (I'm a sucker for cute names.)) The other guy is named Nicholas and I'm almost 100% sure he's gay. He blushed at me the other day when I attempted to make small talk.

Bex has told me to let her know if I want to explore sex with men. She says "I don't want you to be 40 and say crap I wish I had done whatever I wanted in my 20's."  My reply is always "no... it's ok. I'm afraid I'd fall in love with the guy anyways." Her acceptance of 'boy fun' confuses me greatly bc I know she get jealous when I mention other girls. Bex couldn't share me if she wanted to.

Wanting to fuck everyone + problems separating sex and love + not another relationship =My Dilemma

2 comments:

  1. I would say you defo shouldnt confuse the two. That way leads to broken hearts and confusion. Believe me!!!

    Have you considered maybe a break away from the relationship to re-evaluate your feelings about everything?

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  2. That sounds super confusing for you. Maybe a little break from your girlfriend would help bring some clarity to the situation?

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