25 August 2010

sweet nothings

I wanted to add this as a part two to my last blog 'down and dirty' but I hate posting/reposting on the same day or the day after. Bex has been saying recently that she has been trying to let herself share me. It's a subject that I have dropped entirely because I don't want to coax her into anything that she doesn't want. That would be horrible. I re-read some of my blog posts and I stumbled upon these sentences:

She got really tipsy off the champagne and told me that If I wanted to introduce another girl or guy in bed that I could, as long as... (there was a string attached) it was always me and her at the end of the night...

Bex said yesterday, "You know that I don't limit us to this." (Doing the you and me hand motion.) We were talking about monogamy and how it mostly doesn't make sense. Is she coming around? She followed that statement with "If you are going to do something I need to know, it's all about honesty."

I wonder where all the trust went? Unfortunately I think that everything got too real for her and that maybe when she said what she said, that I was coaxing her into it. I want that level of trust again.

We're gonna have tonight and tomorrow together which makes me happy. I'll be working way to much and not getting to spend as much time with her. It sucks... and well... it sucks. I miss her terribly so I'll stop blogging soon so I can spend whatever time I can with her.

Mr.V is still in Florida and if he does return, I'll await all the pictures and crazy stories that he's gonna have. I'm loosing interest in finding a fuck buddy and moving towards finding guy friends that I can be good friends with. I think that I get lonely often and that doesn't help my need/want for sex with the boys. I've just been thinking a lot about my relationship with Bex and our marriage and the future, and I'm trying to not fantasize and live for once.

Oh I got checked out by a bag boy at a grocery store, but I'll have you wait for that story... I have to let it simmer before I tell you about it. (That way it gives me some time to stretch the truth ;) )

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely love the new look on your blog!!!

    Glad Bex is opening up and seeing some potential and opportunity. Let her ease into and maybe the first time let it be her idea so she doesn't feel pressure.
    Congrats on progress