23 September 2010

false epiphany? part 2 today

OMG I feel alive! I feel AWESOME! I'm not on drugs and I haven't been drinking. Why do I feel so good?! I told you that I thought that Bex was doing something to my head, but right now... I feel so fucking great. My life is starting to make a little more sense and I'm feeling a sense of clarity right now. I'm not getting my hopes up because I've read up on false epiphanies.

All this working has made me miss Bex. The sex with her lately has been feeling soo good and normally I don't pine for her like this. I mean I love her and I'm attracted, but since when did it match the lust for boys? Maybe I've cracked but I feel like maybe I need to stop struggling. I'm married... bisexual... in a closed relationship. It's ok... I can pine for boys... I can jack off to them but I shouldn't touch because we're not there yet. We may never be there... and I can't be depressed if we never do. I love my wife! I love our life together and I need to be happy! It makes sooo much sense!

I feel like the double rainbow guy right now... bisexual double rainbow all the way! OMG OMG :) hahaha.
Ok... I plan on keeping this in my pocket for now. I'm not solving anything right now... just feeling whatever I'm feeling. I'll be ok. We'll be ok. Sorry for posting so much so frequently... I just had to. OMG.

2 comments:

  1. Bobby - you have to find what works for you, it may be a compromise between dueling and conflicting goals but just as long as you can feel at peace with your decision.

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  2. OMG, I love the bisexual double rainbow. LOL

    PY

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