04 October 2010

jealousy bug

It has bit me in the ass. Much like everything else bites me in the bottom. Bex spent last night with two of her guy friends. I was at work but I got drunk emails all night. She had planned a guys night with her boys to watch the movie 'The human centipede'. The movie was supposed to be gruesome, gory and taboo but it turned out to be lame (or so I'm told.) I came home to a very very drunk wife. After helping her change into pjs and getting some food in her system, she proceeded to tell me about her night.

Don't ask me why but my vibrator was laying in the middle of the bedroom. (Not her vibrator... my vibrator.) She says I should prob clean it before using it, but not to worry...she didn't tell them it was my vibrator. She told me that one of the guys she hangs out with keeps hugging up on her and is a bit touchy feely. Also that at the end of the night that he kissed her (on the cheek) goodbye. Innocent I'm sure but this guy is very close to her and it makes me jealous on many levels.

Bex kept asking me this morning in a very sloshy drunken voice if something was bothering me. Actually there was. I felt like my privacy had been invaded because other people have been touching my sex toys. It had hit me when I saw it lying on the ground that I no longer wanted to use it because it seemed foreign. A solution with a simple fix. After realizing that the problem lied with the vibrator and not anything else, I concluded that I should by a replacement. Bex agreed and apologized for messing with it. Now I'm happy and searching for something in particular. Maybe this? Any suggestions?

At work last night I almost sent myself into a panic. I was thinking (too much) about all this crap that's been happening since I came out... blah blah blah.. and I kept repeating what Bex had said when she was drunk. She was talking about how if we got divorced that the reason stated should say fraud, and what she's gonna say to friends and family about the whole thing. It hurt and that was the entire point. I tried to focus on good memories but one made me stop breathing. I had to consciously stop myself from thinking and force myself to breath or else I would start to hyperventilate. My thought was about the bouquet of flowers we had at our wedding and how in love Bex was with the pink and white roses. They were beautiful and perfect. I had the hardest time getting through my shift... but I survived.

I need to piece myself back together and for now... get some damn sleep. I'll ttyl guys... I'm off to dream world, where sex is fun and nobody gets hurt. (ok that was weird... what am i already falling asleep?!) TTYL :D

p.s I found this... I got excited but then I figured for $300 I could just buy myself a boyfriend. Could I spend $300 on this? My birthday may cum early.


  1. Alcohol can make someone say some cruel things. Words like that are exactly why I'm afraid to tell my girlfriend about my dilemma. Not that she doesn't have the right to feel upset/scared/threatened, but it makes it even harder for you, I'm sure.

  2. Sorry Bex, it's not fraud if all the facts have been disclosed. If you're not happy about Bobby's sexuality, you can walk away at any time. Because he has decided to be open and honest with you, you are now equally responsible for the success of your partnership.

  3. Bobby: Not that this is foreshadowing your fate but I've seen a number of nasty divorces, it's unnerving how love can turn to hate so quickly. It's unfair that she's threatening to spill the beans and contemplating contingencies, rather than focusing on how to make things work.

  4. She's not threatening, just blowing off some steam. I know her and I know when she's being serious and when she's just upset.

  5. You are giving a very best idea about the friend and the relationship. Hence I like your story very much as it is very much real story.