14 November 2010

this is not the end

The other day I hung out with Mr.V and had too much to drink and I made an ass out of myself. Both of us had been drinking but I had waay more alcohol than I needed to have had. It was on one of my days off so Bex, Mr.V and I had drinks and hung out. I ended up objectifying him with my retarded behavior. I woke up feeling like crap but not because of how much I drank, but what I did to Mr.V. I'm sorry and only hope that we can still be friends. We haven't talked since that morning.

I made Bex sad and insecure by my behavior, especially with the things that I was saying about certain things online. I was drunk and my filter was off and I was completely oblivious to her heart breaking next to me. Mr. V said "He just has too much lust in his heart, that's all" in an attempt to comfort her. My lust for men and attention is destroying me and until I get some clarity on how to handle it, I'm gonna take a breather.

I wanted to let you boys and girls know that I'm taking a break from blogging. I'm saddened to say so because I love blogging but honestly my life is in shambles. My personal life, work life, my marriage, family relationships and friendships are all falling by the way side. I even put on some stress weight, so there goes my boyish figure. I need some time to collect myself. I believe that I'm going to search for that much needed therapy that I've put off.

I will miss all of you and it's not goodbye, but it's goodbye for now. I hope that when I do return I'm a better me and not so much a lusty puppy.

Love B♂bby

4 comments:

  1. Bobby: I understand your decision to take a breather, I'm sad but I support your need to refocus your head around how to deal with these conflicts that just don't get resolved. As to Mr V. you should apologize to him, not just express regret here. As to Bex, whether you open up your relationship is fraught with risks but your desires for guys is not going to go away, some how you have to find a compromise. She should cut you a break like you have forgiven her when she's had too much to drink.

    Now who am I going to gossip about guys with you gone? I'm going to miss you Bobby but I will eagerly await your return when you are better and healthier in mind and spirit. Please take care.

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  2. I will miss you but I think you seeking therapy is the best thing. You are to conflicted with both sides of yourself. Good Luck to you and Bex

    PY

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  3. yes.. i don't know bobby.. i don't know if we can be friends since you objectified me.. geez exaggeration much?!

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  4. Oh Jameson, I just felt bad because I never want to make my friends feel like just another 'hot piece of ass' just because I'm drunk. You're my friend and I didn't take into account whether or not you cared if I was all over you.

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