02 December 2010

flip flops

I just read the wikipedia article on bisexuality. It was very interesting and if I can believe everything sited in the article, very intriguing as well. I like reading about bisexual stuff and sexual orientation in general because I feel that it gives me just a smidgeon of insight into what I'm like and what other people are like.

I still very much consider myself to be a bisexual man even though looking at my blog you'd think otherwise. Actually if you looked at my browser history log you'd see keywords like: Twink, hard core, top, bottom, jock, cock...so on and so forth. Even most of my fantasies involve guys. I know what you're thinking 'OMG gay and in denial!' But every once in a while I do jerk off to the thought of a girl or visit a girl centric pornsite like makemeco.me. My sex drive for women has dulled lately but I do feel like there will always be that appreciation for the female form. Oh and I LOVE breasts, so I couldn't give those up too easily. I really love Bex's breasts too, she's got some nice ones.

I think that I retreat to boyworld so much that the fantasy has grown to Disneyland proportions! I put much of my daily life, heart and soul into the urge of stripping some hot boy down... that it's eating me alive! I mean... just talking about it makes my mouth water. I fantasize about men all too much... It's not healthy! ;) Maybe one day I'll get my chance encounter and see if it's worth all the hype.

Women are nice, they are beautiful creatures and I love how delicate they are. I love being sweet to my girl and I love how smart she is. Sexual urges aside, I want to be with Bex for forever. The other day I looked into her eyes and realized that they'd be the same eyes that I'd be looking into even when she's old and wrinkly. It made me happy and obviously the thought of being old made me sad, but it made me realize that I still love her enough to be with her. I can imagine having kids and a dog with her. Thats major because I'm so anti-kid most of the times. The problem lies in that I want this... and I want... that.

I was asked the other day if I could imagine have a male partner, lover and 'husband' and yes I can imagine all those things. It would certainly take some time for me to get used to it, but I most definitely could. To have someone in your life who loves you like a spouse does, is a powerful thing... regardless if its a man or woman. I don't fantasize about having a husband though, maybe because I feel like I've found someone to love on me like so. Bex fills that 'love' hole, but the 'lust' one... I'm not so sure. Even before I started to think that maybe I wasn't completely straight... there was something lacking.

So I'm off with these final thoughts (cue the Jerry Springer final thoughts music) I am bi, for now and I haven't quite figured it all out just yet... but I won't let it get me down today. Today I will be Bobby and love, fuck and live to my fullest extent. I gotta go and love on my wife who loves me soo much. Ciao B's & G's!

P.S. FoC I hope you have a very good day ;)
B♂bby

6 comments:

  1. Hahaha....you said "love hole."

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  2. Bobby: That's the right attitude to take, make the best of your current situation. You are just going to have to scratch that man itch in a virtual way thru all your internet surfing. It will have to remain a fantasy for now. Focus on what you do have and count your blessings.

    P.S. I'm touched you are thinking of me, cause I'm thinking of you back.

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  3. @Anon: ha! I did say 'love hole' tehe.
    @FoC: of course I'm always thinking about you... you're my flirt buddy.

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  4. Bobby: Oh, you are such the charming tease. It's such a shame you are so far away when we could be sipping coffee and oogling the hot guys passing by. Mr. V is your real flirt buddy, I'm just a poor facsimile of the real thing. Have a good night and pleasant dreams.

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  5. no FoC, you're my flirt buddy. Mr.V and I don't flirt... he's just the poor sap that I obsess about and fondle when I'm drunk. Yes too bad we live so far away! Good night as well and hopefully I will have very 'pleasant' dreams ;) ttyl

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  6. Bobby: Oh I want to switch places with Mr. V then, so I can get fondled too. And I'd let you do me even if you aren't drunk. Oh wait, that did not come out right. ;-) I will snooze away dreaming of my dear Bobby, hoping that you hold me warm and tight, to chase the chills away . . . Zzzzzzzzzz

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