21 January 2011

turned off

In a weird place right now. I'm happy angry upset anxious and un-enthused. My plans for today are to have some drinks with Bex, Ash and my coworker friend (girl). Later tonight I will be wrapping my lips around a bottle of Arbor mist sparkling something or the other. I guess I'm playing my bi card right bc I get to spend the night with a couple of pretty girls and they won't question my intentions. I'm hoping to stay on my best behavior though because last time I ended up feeling up my coworker at the night club.

Speaking of which I kept that whole encounter PC on my blog bc I was afraid that Bex would read it. The first time we went out and danced at the club I totally manhandled my coworker. She grinded on me and I felt her side up and down and it was fantastic. Of course being the pussy that I am I made sure to enjoy it but to keep my distance since alcohol and lust brings trouble. Whatever Bex felt up my coworkers boobs... she just doesn't know how much I enjoyed it and how far it went.

I'm tired and it's coffee time. I woke up way to early this morning and spent the entire morning annoyed at my wife. She was trying to talk to me about her being bothered about my lack of wanting to spend time with her. I love her but come on! Yes I do feel like I never get to see her but if I spend all my time with her, then that's what I'll only be doing. She has a hard time sharing me and I have a hard time committing undivided attention to her. It 'us' and thats how we don't work I guess.

I got sad earlier today bc I realized that I'm growing indifferent to all her concerns and needs. She's been really fucking horny for me and I'm finding that I can't reciprocate those feelings. I just get so tired of caring and being her everything. I get horny a lot too but recently it's not been for her. It's been for other things or for guys, gay porn. I'm in trouble bc I've never been this apathetic especially when it comes to sex. I am so turned off that it's making me feel horrible. She's a sweetheart and is a very gorgeous girl, I'm just...

I'm an asshole sometimes.

I need to go get my head together and crawl out this funk that I'm in.


  1. I just realized why I was so pissed off this morning. I'm really freaking tired and did not do my morning coffee. Damn I become a monster without my coffee.

  2. Bobby: Go to Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or even McDonald's for some java. Perhaps the caffeine will fire up your libido. You got ready access to sex but don't feel like pulling the trigger -- something is bothering you, so shake it off and do your husbandly duty. Break out BL if you must.

  3. Maybe this will rev up your engine:


  4. Bobby,
    Like everything in life things go in cycles. What's going on today may be diffeernt tomorrow. I wouldn't let it get to you about your feelings towards Bex. I have the same feeling towards my partner sometimes, but still together after 15 years and have no plans on leaving.