19 March 2011

Going in circles

Good morning everyone. Right now I'm lying in bed not making a sound but managing to check my twitter, email and compose this blog. Lets just say I love my new phone, it's like a mini laptop. If my phone was a person... I'd be meeting his parents and looking at apartments together. (oh wait we know what happens after I settle down) I'm still lusting over my phone.

Bex and I have a terrible dynamic going and I witnessed it yesterday first hand. After I blogged we got into an argument were insults were thrown, feelings were hurt and makeup was ruined (not mine ;-) ). Our start off the weekend fight has become a terrible tradition. Then after we sooth our wounds we move on with our bidness and continue our day. We ended up having a starbucks date, a beautiful home cooked dinner with champagne and sex. It's a real mind fuck getting it all in on the same day. Going from I hate your guts to steamy showers to caressing and kissing is tiring. My relationship is bi (polar).

Yesterday Bex and I had that steamy shower together, then headed to the bedroom to hump like bunnies. After that we watched a movie and chilled in bed where I was able to seduce her a second time. We fucked again and after cuddling I was ready for more. Bex was exhausted so she finished me off for the third and final orgasm of the night. I indeed was a frisky dingo last night. I don't know what's gotten into me but even as we speak I'm popping a boner. It must be my lucky undies, since I tend to get some when I wear them.

my lucky undies

I see the psychological harm that our roller coaster relationship can create, so I'm going to have to remember to tread lightly and carry a big stick. I'm sick of the drama and wonder if it's me, her or our relationship. That feeling of exhaustion I tell my therapist about, it's because of the roller coaster.

I've been laying in bed for too long and I'm starting to get antsy. What I would like to do is get up and work out. I'm gathering a basket of lust, frustration and determination to finally achieve that lean sculpted body that I soo lust over. I know how detrimental thinking about this fantasy is but I imagine me (too hott to trot) on a roof top giving head to some hot stud who is enjoying the view.

I think I will end this post with that imagery. Yum. I love you guys, thank you for sticking with me through all the mess and drama that is my life. Have a delicious saturday and ill be seeing you soon ;) . Ttylz


  1. "I'm sick of the drama and wonder if it's me, her or our relationship."

    Dude, I don't even know you, or Bex, except what you want me to know, and to put it bluntly...it's you!

    If you were a normal hetro guy, totally fulfilled by your wife and marriage, do you think there would be drama?

    That being said, you are who you are. If you really don't like the drama, I honestly believe you can control it.

    Sometimes, you just don't realize that you're the one in control of your life.

    Good luck buddy. I still support you.


  2. Bobby: I'm exhausted just reading about you being exhausted after your triple treat night. :-)

    As for the emotional roller coaster, it's difficult for those of us not in your position to know how it feels. We can imagine, we can commiserate, we can empathize but we don't know the feelings or why. You can't control how you feel about things, you can only control how you react or cope with the situation of still feeling incomplete even though you have a loving wife. For some, that's enough. For others like you, it's hunger that can't be totally fulfilled.

  3. Bobby: I'm exhausted just hearing about you being exhausted after your triple treat night. :-)

    Despite you getting a lot of loving, you cannot shake that feeling of missing on something more. Those of us not subject to those urges can't possibly know how it feels. We can commiserate, we can empathize, we can imagine but we don't know how it feels to be on your roller coaster. You might be able to suppress it for awhile, but it's still there. You can't control how you feel but you can control how you react and cope to those situations.

  4. Bobby: Sorry for the multiple comments, I thought the first one got lost when it didn't show up so I wrote another one but I couldn't remember verbatim what I wrote so it looks like I have dual minds. Maybe I'm bi too?

  5. @foc lol no worries.
    @jack I think you're right although I don't want to admit it. I'm just not like this with anything else in my life though, bc generally I'm a pretty laid back guy...not that you can tell from my blog.

  6. Subsitute your girl for a guy and It is my ideal day!